m i crazy???
I'm so tiresd..just got call from Jodi to work for her on my day off and i'm so FUCKING G DAMNED tired...i can't sleep cuz I'm gonna meet my ex on thursday for dinner...I have to somehow help him...he looks like he's dying and i think i need to show him he can survive like i did without hate and spiritual death... somehow...My fear and question is, can i do this and stay sane? Can I NOT do it and stay sane?
Evolution of the spirit and self is a bitch and I am scared for my soul. IS IT STRONG ENOUGH? I ..can't turn away and let him crash alone after all these years. He is so alone now...I have my family and friends thank god, they have saved and supported me thru sll of this hell...love them all for it.
Can I be big enough in spirit and have enough humanity to help him do better after all of the pain he has caused me?...we'll see...
For my own sense of peace and altruism, i'm going to try...also I need to try for my daughters who would unravel if he were to fail...
Pray, chant, burn sage, think tinkerbell happy thoughts for me...i need to be careful and wise and empathetic.
Currently listening :
His Eye Is on the Sparrow
By Ethel Waters
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