After Friday night, where i embarrassed myself and my old friend who was silly enough to ask me out on a date and thank me for agreeing to go...sigh,...(see Red stag blog entry), I 've decided that fake dates are my best current option...So, I am going to lunch with a dear friend who has no designs on me, only adores me enough to make me into my own art icon, "Our Lady Of Perpetual Light Roast," showing me rising from the dead,a fter i almost killed myself falling off a ladder.
I am thankful to him for kisiing my forhead and telling me he was so glad i survived... when oddly and sadly enough my ex never once said that...so...sweet Jay and I are going to lunch and then to the Russian Museum of Art to lose ourselves in beauty and to laugh...I call him the Armadillo cuz he is shielded in emotional armour tougher than my own, but it is un ravelling and i see him daring to love Missy H. and i am happy for that...
Funny, i'm encouraging him to propose to her as I run for the hills from my own marriage. He gets that ... I think it means I stil believe in love, somehow and so does he.
I look at those around me now and think good luck to you and HOPE for them with my eyes closed tight, like when you wish and blow out a birthday candle
...Dare i wish love for myself down the road? i think so...but with who? It's awfully hard to meet someone sitting at home on my computermor at work where no caramel machiatto's seem to cross my threshhold(see prior blog re caramel macchiatto reference as a code)
I am determined to "spoon" again! Any one know any prime prospects? Funny how a young kissing bandit pushed me to wake up the beast in my soul...he was hoping for Ms. Robinson but I am so much more than that...but, that's another story...later
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