Tonight was the second Mpls. Drunken Spelling Bee, a wonderful gathering of would-be genius spellers who get to spell everything from "bugle" to "venerable" to so many latin and greek based, 6 syllable words, that I am too tired to remember...then there were naughty sexual deviant terms...the final and winning word was numismatist...(one who collects and admires coins) There was the underwear round, the hula hooping by Honey and by yours truly, the Hard-On girls...the event was silly, fun and, oddly enough, ultimately academic . The Daily covered it and took tons of photos. The crowd seemed to love learning new words and wanted correct spelling for the ones misspelled.
I learned that people are funny when their guard is down. I met lots of hilarious women and men, some so earnest it hurt when they lost, and some so just happy to be there for fun that they laughed out loud when they went down.
I was told by both the men and womenthat i need to be meaner to the contestants, but that they loved the "catholic apologist component of my silliness after saying naughty things. Don't know how to be mean, verbally, I guess. I can be naughty, i can say the most sexually awful words and give definitions with a completely straight face...naughty nice naughty nice...so confusing, but I can't be mean to them when they fail...hmmm
Happy to see lots of coffeeshop customers, some shock and giggles at my potty mouth. I'm sure there will be much shaking if fingers on monday...
Most surprising and gratifying of all, were the number of young women who said they want me to adopt them and the complete strangers who came up to tell me how much they envied my easy and open relationship with my daughter; the naughty back and forth between us, the obvious affection and respect. i was struck by how true that was...how i love her unconditionally, and encourage open exchange and creativity between us, actually with both my girls. I think it ironic that these young women want to be me...ME? SO STRANGE!!!. It made me realize that I need to get past the me as failure...divorced, alone now, as if that were what i am...I need to see the me who they see. A woman speaking her mind, not afraid to be silly when called for, smart enough to be witty and concise with language. I guess the woman they see is so perfectly fucking on the money for the place, and time she is living in.
I, she is enough.., pretty damned tough, a survivor and definitely growing more fearless with each passing day.
Maybe that is all that matters. Maybe smart, kind, funny is all I've got and damn, i just need to seethat as good...oh, there is that ethical, i won't go home with you thing, too. Missing intimacy, that is hard to do, but especially nowm np confusing sex with care.
Bottom line, I guess i just need to paint more, to write more, to love friendship and make it enough. Being the Queen Bee isn't so bad, considering the options. Tho, I prefer the moniker given to me by the Burlesque ladies; Pope of NE....It has such a lovely ring...hmm...a pope who can spell. guarantees me heaven I think.
Nite y'all.
Slante
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