Some days, endings and beginnings blend onto a crazy canvas...paint this part of my life blue, paint that part of endings black, add some pink to make a room habitable, no, happy, add a shading of green for the future, like a garden fresh and ready to reach to the sun...
Leading me to ask what painting do I want to create for my future. I will hang the old one on the wall, a reminder of loss, love, hope, happy times, terrible betrayals...That canvas is done. I will view it as a piece to learn from, to wonder about it's deeper meaning; like a Goya, a Bacon, a DaVinci..inscrutible?
The new Canvas will most likely be as layered. But, I will choose my colors this time with a wider depth of experience to guide me. I will scrape away color that doesn't suit me. I will re-create and blend the tones, creating something powerful, beauty I hope, filled with light and shadow. How presumptive to think it might be a Michaelangelo...maybe if I am wise and honest and passionate, at least an El Greco, a Rembrandt...a modern day Lucretia without the mortal wound, instead a survivor not sacrificed to old sets of male standards, but instead a survivor reflecting some damage, but mostly a wisdom; shadows in the eyes, a wise turn to the mouth, lines that show the journey that has been made.
I will pick up my brush and paint my new life...
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