Sexy in my bones

So, it is interesting how in one week three, count 'em, three men i am intrigued by, are in my life..

SFC, all darkness and smarts, so sweet and so self-destructive...for some reason willing to share his frightful secrets with me...and I am determined not to give them away...but, i said i will always listen to him, help him struggle to find reasons to stay here among the living. I will try to make him see that there are reasons to un-freeze...try to give him light in his darkness. And, I will sit up all night to listen, try to share what I have learned and to hold his hand, gladly.

And, sweet sweet Jed, so sincere, so damned cute, so nice... he bought me and I bought him at auction...dinner at Manny;'s wednesday and jazz or film after dinner...such a gentle man, emphasis on gentle i think...too young... too young. I could be his mother...so, what is happening here....I am confused by his enthusiasm, i assume he just thinks i am nice and fun...but then, I am confused researching everything we could do together after the meal; make the reservation, request specific server, research foreign film festival selections, find out who is singing Jazz at the Dakota...or, he asks, would i prefer a simple walk, talk and cocktails, by the river...????

Then there is Jay, my enigma man, smart, intense, somehow i sense he is wounded and slowly recovering. Like with sfc, i want to listen, to somehow help him heal... I am so thankful that he is helping re-do the shop. Amazed that he gets how color can make me happy, everyone happier...I am struck by how much I like him...but, I act like a teenage fool around him...Jesus save me from myself. Thing is, as attracted as I am to him, I would love his friendship alone...??? Did I mention that i am confused?

Still, confused or not, I love that I finally, finally, feel sexy to my bones. Sweet.