Today I get the unifying elements for my upper back tattoos...a tapestry that unites the disparate pieces of my story...bittersweet.... Painful...yep. Incredible trip? for absolutely sure. My friend C says to breath thru the tattoo pain and make each twinge an act of attrition. I will do that. I laughed and said, "just like childbirth"
I feel as if I've been birthing me for the past two years.
This final tatto is about attrition for a life I never cared enough to stand up for and wasted in so many ways...I also know that during these past two years I have learned and recognized the good in my history...friends, family, most especially my daughters...
So, This attrition is to my own heart for putting it second for far too long. I am sorry for the long wait in darkness. Won't happen again. I swear!
Today, Mary Cassidy will be stung into my back with ink and thought. I will never turn my back on her (me)again. I will never be hidden or locked in a bastard closet for someone else's shame. I will never againn accept that I am not enough and stay.
Mary Cassidy is, at last, allowed into the sun to live out-loud, in person, front and center and will, from this moment forward, be aware and grateful for her new evolved and hard-earned life.
And, so the end is also the beginning.....
I will love my life. I will love Mary Cassidy, at last.
Slante
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